


A to Z 00Q

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-02-23 08:34:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13186347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: Each chapter will start with the letter of the alphabet and each chapter will have exactly 100 words.





	1. A God's love

**A** god among mortals, a fae amidst humans, a calm Eldritch Horror between earthlings… That was what he saw Q as and yet, it never crossed his mind that his eyes weren’t deceiving him until he saw the young man’s ethereal form hover above his would-be killers, looking bored as they aged and turned to dust in the blink of an eye.

 

“I really do hold your life in my hands, Bond,” Q murmured, slowly running his bony finger down James’ chest, chuckling when the other started to gasp for breath. “Remember to thank God that you’re my favourite mortal.”


	2. Be honest with each other

Bond had made a habit out of crashing in Q’s apartment after every mission. At first, it was only after his the ones that ripped wat little soul and heart he had left and Q would always help him undress, then draped a blanket on him and gave up his bed for him. Now, however, Q didn’t bother to vacate the bed at all, especially since Bond dropped by even if all he had to do was bring him a cup of tea.

 

“My minions say we’re married,” Q sleepy muttered.

 

“We can’t have them be liars now can we?”


	3. C

Cats and Bond had many things in common. You never knew when one was in the room even if you had a bell around their necks, they never listened to what they were told, they always destroyed things just because they could, they always hurt the one that cared for them in what they thought to be a game, and they always returned when their curiosity was satisfied.

 

But there was one key difference between the two: Q adored cats and their behaviour never truly hurt, but Q loved Bond and he died a little every time the man left.


	4. D

Dinner was never considered as something important by Q since he always ended up eating takeout either at his desk or at home. Bond, however, treated it as the most holy ritual in the world and it involved the roof of their building, candles, expensive wine, good tea, and divine food that the agent had cooked himself.

 

“Retire from your life of destroying things and be my chef.”

 

Bond chuckled, wiping Q’s mouth. “Maybe I should retire from courting you.”

 

Oh.

 

“I’ll still cook for you, but I’ll tone everything down.”

 

Oh! “Be blunter about it. I’m a bloody boffin.”


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone had dog days, James more so than others. Even on what was supposed to be a simple information exchange mission, he ended up returning with a bullet lodged in his shoulder and things didn’t stop there. His flight got delayed, airport security found him to be suspicious, no one was waiting from him when he landed because M forbade it, and the cops pulled him over five times on his way back to MI6.

 

But that was fine because Q greeted him with a smile… and an injection filled with morphine so he wouldn’t give medical a hard time.


	6. Chapter 6

Finding a stranger in your house was usually a bad way to start or end your day. However, finding your former Quartermaster squatting in your family house and looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck while wearing nothing but his pants was quite a sight for sore eyes.

 

“I thought you were in Austria,” Q blurted out, trying to casually cover himself with his laptop. “Not that your absence makes me being here okay.”

 

All temptations defeated, James draped his jacket over Q’s shoulders. “I’ll be your bodyguard and this will continue to be your safe-house.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise story within a story!

“Growing old with someone isn’t something I thought I’d think about,” James said out of nowhere, interrupting Q mid-rant about proper equipment care. “But then there was Vesper and then Madeleine and I started to think about it, only to end up swearing to myself that I’ll never get involved in anything serious ever again.”

 

Shade paler than usual – because he and Bond had started a thing five months ago – Q tried to carry on with his rant. “Still, that's not a good reason—”

 

“And then there’s you,” he interrupted again and Q’s face changed colours. “So, let’s get married.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Hell no,” Q snapped and turned to R. “007 clearly isn’t in adult mode and since I finished my shift twenty minutes ago, feel free to chew him out on my behalf.”

 

“Q, I—”

 

R shoved an apple to keep him quiet and blocked his path, flashing her taser at him to give Q enough time to leave. “Let me start off by saying that _that_ was the lamest proposal I have ever heard and add that I would have dumped my tea on you.”

 

“I think Q wanted you to nag me about the equipment, not the failed proposal.”


	9. Chapter 9

“I can’t believe that you proposed to Q like that.” Alec was wheezing out between his laughter, wiping an actual tear from the corner of his eye. “It was a miracle he gave you the time of the day after your initial meeting—”

 

“I know—”

 

“And then taking you back after the Swann incident?” Alec continued undeterred, fishing his phone out his trousers’ pocket. “A saint that you insulted by proposing to him like you were settling.”

 

James’ eye twitched because he knew what Alec planned on doing. “I’ll make you eat that phone if you start hitting on him.”


	10. Chapter 10

Just because he bent the rules until they broke for Bond and because he went that extra mile for the bastard’s equipment – which he never cared enough not to lose after he was out of danger – it didn’t mean that he would turn into a rag for him.

He thought that everyone would jump in to defend the golden boy of the spying universe that Bond was, but no; they were all on his side and finding out why – James could be romantic outside of missions as evidenced by his proposal plans for Vesper – only served to hurt him more.


	11. Chapter 11

Killing people was a lot easier than mending the heart of a loved one and for all his knowledge of the dating world both as a savvy spy and as a smooth civilian, his attempts at an apology were utter crap.

 

He started with tea which was ignored, continued with chocolates and flowers that by some miracle weren’t stuffed down his ass and his throat, picnics on the roof which always ended with him getting stood up, and ended with expensive gifts that were returned to him without being opened.

 

“I’m screwed and rightfully so,” James concluded two weeks later.


	12. Chapter 12

“Love – the true kind – is supposed to always win,” James grumbled, struggling to focus on just one of the many Alecs he was seeing. “Yet here I am, out of ideas and hated by my love.”

 

“You’ve been watching too much Disney if you really think that,” Alec deadpanned as he slapped a glass out of James’ hand. “Do you really want to slip into a coma?”

 

James almost dying ended with Q admitting—

 

“Plus, I’m pretty sure your lame proposal was simply the last straw that broke the camel’s back considering your past actions, so why not just apologize?”


	13. More trouble

Maybe if he just closed his eyes and counted back from ten, he’d wake up in his bed. No, no, _it_ is still there.

 

“Please tell me that I’m the only one seeing _that_ ,” Q pleaded with R, groaning and slamming his head against the glass when the woman shook her head. “Why can he function only in extremes?”

 

“He wouldn’t be Bond otherwise,” R pointed out. “Want me to release the drones before anyone—” Q’s phone going off interrupted and, cringing when she saw the screen. “We’ll be rooting for you, boss.”

 

“Please take a picture before erasing it.”


	14. Not expected

Not to say that his original plan included getting someone to be the MI6 version of court martialled and dragging Q into all of it, but he might as well done that since the final result was – mostly – the same thing: Q and he were sitting down in a room, ready to talk about what had transpired between them.

 

“If I was disappointed with you before, now I outright hate you.” Okay, things weren’t going well, but Q had yet to knock him out. “Don’t just stare at me! Say something!”

 

“I’m sorry for treating you the way I did.”


	15. One more try

Of course the apology didn’t fix everything right away – especially since it forced Q to put his job on the line yet again to save his ass – but it had started a healing process.

 

“I understand that you are a self-destructing prick, but don’t you dare drag me into it on your time off when the lives of many aren’t on the line, you utter git!” Admittedly, it also started a screaming process, but Q was finally acknowledging his existence.

 

“I didn’t think—”

 

“You never do!” Q exclaimed. “Think really hard of what you’ll say when we have dinner tonight!”


	16. Chapter 16

People didn’t really know how to react to the news about the impending marriage between their angelic Quartermaster and Casanova’s reincarnation that 007 was. Try as they might, they never seemed to say the right thing to either of them. If they congratulated Q, it sent him in a long rant about money being wasted on stupid things, but if they offered him their sincerest condolences, they were bombarded with texts about how James was perfection.

 

Pretending nothing was happening was also out of the question because it made Q look sad and that made James a very angry groomzilla.


	17. Q

Q never thought that he’d get cold feet and yet there he was, trying to keep the door shut while he searched online for the perfect woman for James. He felt that James would get bored of the happily married life the second the ceremony ended, so he was simply doing the right thing for the—

 

“Thought I’d find you like this,” James said from the window, holding out his hand. “Q, will you make me the happiest man on earth and elope with me to a small church just next to Skyfall?”

 

Q accepted the hand with a smile.


	18. Royal talk

Right when James thought he saw everything, life found something new to throw his way and force him to pick his jaw off the floor and remember how to act like a professional while Q was done being fawned on by the Queen herself because he was her favourite nephew even though he was a bastard.

 

And then the Queen turned her attention to him, her brown eyes cold. “Tall, blond, blue-eyed, and dangerous. Cutie, are you sure you want him?”

 

“Grandmother,” Q whined.

 

“I’ve seen his partner portfolio,” she said and James wanted to die. “He’s getting _the talk_.”


	19. Secrets

Secrets were perfectly normal in the lives of those who worked for a spy agency. But just because they were normal, that didn’t mean that people didn’t waste the better part of their breaks trying to find out those secrets and the juiciest of them all belonged to the Quartermaster.

 

The man started to act strange three days after 007 left, always hurrying down the labyrinth of tunnels MI6 had under it whenever he had five minutes to spare and following him was a lot harder than it sounded because he was as silent and as fast as a cheetah.


	20. The reveal to the unworthy

The secret Q had ended up being found out by a boffin that had no interest in what anyone was doing. The poor man had simply gotten lost on his way to the bathroom and ended up stumbling on what everyone wanted to know and refused to share it with anyone. Then again, given that the only moment when he didn’t look like a ghost was when Q was in the room and even then, the colour of his face wasn’t right, maybe they should let this secret remain a secret.

“Q’s on the move!”

Then again, they were spies.


	21. U

“Unbelievable!” R exclaimed as she jumped from one feed to another, trying to find Q again. “He was just there!”

 

“He survived a long time on his own before MI6 found him, so I’m not really surprised that he can’t be found when he doesn’t want to,” Eve calmly reminded R, hiding her smile behind her teacup – she couldn’t help but feel proud of Q for giving everyone the slip, even if she was also dying to know what he was up to. “He’ll tell us when he’s ready, so be patient.”

 

“What if he won’t?”

 

The implication was terrifying.


	22. V

Very few people had Q’s implicit trust no matter what and among those people, there was James Bond. Q knew the man would return to them after his soul had a chance to heal a little and that’s exactly what happened, except James Bond came back to _him_ for now, not MI6.

 

“Stay,” James panted, pulling Q back in the bed. “We have the room for the whole day.”

 

“I have to leave now to make it back on time. They’re pretty suspicious as it is.”

 

“Stay,” James asked again, wrapping himself around Q like an octopus.

 

And Q stayed.


	23. Weddings

Weddings had the potential to be fun for everyone involved if you were in a certain mood and Q was most definitely _not_ in that mood because he was getting hit on by the wrong gender.

 

And then a blond man wearing a suit that looked like it was going to explode if he took a deep breath sat down next to him. “So the bride let it slip that your tree is the right one to bark up at.”

 

“Kind of lame.” He held out his hand. “But you look like fun, so call me Q.”

 

“Bond. James Bond.”


	24. Xiphoid

“Xiphoid cannot be a real word,” James sneered, grabbing the dictionary. “I’m changeling it!”

 

“Of course you are,” Q said smugly. “Remember: if you find the word, you have to remove _two_ articles of clothing.”

 

James glared at him and then at the dictionary and then at him again before ripping out a page. “And if the word isn’t in here, you have to _fully_ strip.”

 

“Bond,” Q snapped and threw himself over the table to grab the paper before he ate it. “Cheater! I’m putting on _more_ clothes.”

 

Strip scrabble wasn’t as fun as James thought it would be.


	25. Young Q

Young Q was adorable. His mop of hair was wilder, his sense of fashion even less non—existent than now, his clothes baggier, and he was very obvious when he was interested in someone because the tips of his ears turned red and he ducked his head while flexing his hands.

 

“I did what now?” 

 

James loved few things more than nibbling on Q’s lower lip in his place, but he had to remember _when_ he was. “You built a time machine and I touched it even though you told me not to touch it and poof! Here I am.”


	26. Zippers

Zippers were the absolute worse.

 

“How the bloody hell did you manage to do that?” Q all but shouted, pushing his hands against his temples. “No, no, we don’t have time for that. I have to call Medical here and—”

 

“No, honestly; I’m fine,” James wheezed, grabbing Q’s arm and tugging him back down on the ground next to him, pushing his head against his stomach. “Just… Give me a moment.”

 

“But you pulled the zipper over your—”

 

“I know,” James insisted, taking a few deep breaths before pulling the zipper down. “Hold me.” His voice was an octave higher.


End file.
